Incomprehensible Emotions
by psychoemokid
Summary: What if Draco and Harry had a secret relationship during their sixth year? Harry is discovering what it's like to love and be loved. slash dmhp
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This fic was inspired by the song Always by Saliva.

I slammed Malfoy against the wall, our lips locked in a lustful passion. We were doing this more often. Meeting for a good fuck. Neither of us were looking for a relationship and if we were it wouldn't be each other.

I mean, I'm the fucking Chosen One. Things would get to bloody complicated if I started dating the son of a death eater. And Malfoy, well I mean come on. A Malfoy dating someone on the Light side, let alone Harry Potter and a half-blood.

We both know the other isn't going to tell, we both have too much to lose. Today is the second day back of sixth year and already we need each other…physically of course.

We ripped each other's clothes off and threw them carelessly. Our hips were grinding roughly and I bit down on Malfoy's neck, drawing blood. I liked the blood away and smirked at Malfoy's moan.

We stumbled towards the bed the Room of Requirements had provided and Malfoy pushed me down roughly. He climbed on top, straddling me and our lips locked in another kiss.

Our tongues battled for dominance and our hands groped roughly at each other's bodies. Malfoy abruptly stuck a finger in me, causing me to scream into the kiss.

We bit and licked at each other's bodies as Malfoy prepared me. Malfoy pulled out his fingers and growled out, "On your knees."

I obeyed and felt him knell behind me. He shoved into me and stayed still for a second, letting me adjust. He began to thrust in and out, his hands on my hips.

"Harder." I growled.

I let out a particularly loud moan when he began to pound into me, hitting my prostate each time. Our moans were escalating in volume and I couldn't help but gasp when Malfoy's hand reached around and grabbed my neglected erection.

His hand began to move up and down in time with his thrusts. I screamed when I came, Malfoy not far behind. We collapsed onto the bed and lay their catching our breath. We silently got up and began to dress.

I was about to leave when Malfoy blocked my way.

"Potter...we can't continue this. Over the summer I received the dark mark."

I stared at Malfoy wondering why it actually hurt to hear him say this. There was no way I could have….Nah. I mean this is Dr-Malfoy…I did not just almost call Malfoy Draco.

I sighed, "Fine." My voice was devoid of emotion and for a second I could swear I saw pain flash through his silver eyes. I shrugged it off and left.

The next few days were infuriating. All I could think about was Malfoy. It was driving me insane. I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I could feel him staring at me and it didn't help the slightest bit.

I was walking down a corridor on another one of my sleepless nights when I was pulled into a classroom. Before I had the chance to view the person lips were crashed to mine.

I didn't need to ask questions, I recognized the lips currently attached to mine. His lips left mine and began to kiss and nip at my neck.

"Screw the Dark Lord. I'll take my chances." He hissed into my ear. I smirked glad that we would be able to continue our activities. Soon our pants were in pools around our ankles.

After preparing me Malfoy grabbed my shoulders and roughly spun me around and pushed me against the walls. He shoved into me with a groan. He had one hand on my hip and another on the wall. His thrusts were hard and quick, the way I liked it.

Our moans were loud and frequent. This time he came first and I spilled my spunk on the wall. With a quick spell it was all cleaned up and we were pulling our pants back up. He pulled me in for another kiss. Instead of leaving like he would have done he stared right into my eyes.

"I was given an assignment."

I had barely even finished saying the word what and he was already out the door. I stared after him in wonder and confusion. I had seen something in those eyes. Something I couldn't place. Something that seemed out of place in Malfoy's eyes.

It continued like that. After each session a little more information would be given and he'd leave before I could respond. It took a few sessions for me to figure out he was supposed to kill someone. After that he gave clues as to whom the person was, never saying their name.

I was sitting in my common room after another session trying to figure out who it was. Important to our side, well known, one of the staff here at Hogwarts, off his rocker. These clues where leading me around in circles. I just couldn't figure out who it was. I wanted to tell Hermione but that meant telling her about the sessions as well.

"Harry?"

I nearly fell off the couch in shock when I heard Hermione's voice. I didn't turn to face her, I knew she was going to sit down with me. Hermione walked over and sat down next to me.

"Harry what's wrong?"

My walls were crumbling and I cursed her through the seven levels of hell and back. She of course would show at my weakest moment. I sighed before telling her everything; Malfoy, our "sessions", his assignment. She listened quietly and when I told her the clues she sighed.

"Harry isn't it obvious? It's Dumbledore."

I froze. She was right, everything fit. Oh fuck. I can't let him do this. I sighed and started to get up but she held me back.

"So, you're gay?"

I swore under my breath, I had hoped she would forget about that temporarily while we focused on Malfoy's assignment. I nodded and she beamed.

"I knew it." I glared at her.

"So are you and Malfoy a couple?"

"No. We…It's only for the sex." Something inside of me felt sad at that but I brushed the feeling off. Hermione stared at me before saying,

"There's something else bothering you. What is it?"

I sighed and told her about this feeling I didn't quite understand and the emotion I was seeing in Malfoy's eyes more often lately and how I didn't know what it was.

"And when Dra-Malfoy wanted us to stop I felt it again, except it was mixed with sadness."

Hermione smiled and placed a hand on my arm. "Harry I know what you're feeling. Harry…You love Malfoy. And I think he loves you back."

My eyes widened and I shook my head vigorously, "I can't I hate him, he hates me!"

"You hate each other so much you have sex? Harry there's a thin line between love and hate."

"I can't! I-I…You have to be wrong." I jumped up and ran to my dorm. I quickly changed before going to sleep, trying not to think on what Hermione said.

The next day I was wondering around the corridors when I ran into Malfoy. I dragged him into an empty classroom.

"Dumbledore!" I exclaimed.

Malfoy winced and looked down and nodded.

"You can't! We need him. I need him."

"You think I want o? I have to! The Dark Lord will kill me if I don't. Hell, my father will kill me if I don't."

"Then come to our side! We could protect you. Keep you safe."

"I have the dark mark! I can't hide anymore. It would have been possible before I received the dark mark but now it's impossible."

"What do you mean?"

"The dark mark isn't just a method to call his death eaters to him, it's a way to find them too."

I swore violently. We stood there in an uncomfortable silence before I sighed.

"I…need to think about this." I walked out the door and could feel Malfoy following me, except he stopped at the doorway.

"Harry wait!"

I ignored him and kept walking.

"Do you hate me?"

I ignored him again and the pain in his voice. I blinked back tears as I walked away. I couldn't handle this. Merlin help me.

I told Hermione everything that happened and we both spent time in the library trying to find a way to get rid of the dark mark for him. Every now and then she would tell me that I had to face the fact that I loved Malfoy, which usually resulted in me stalking off in fury.

Malfoy and I continued our session but they were less frequent and I always left before he could say anything. When I saw him during the school day I could see the pain in his eyes and that confused me.

People began to get suspicious of me and how I never had a girlfriend so I began to date Ginny. It was horrible I know. Hermione liked to remind me that it was completely unfair to her.

I nearly cried the first time I saw Malfoy after I got to together with Ginny. The pain in his eyes was unbearable. He was rougher during our session and I think that was his revenge.

Then it was _that_ night. I cursed Dumbledore for holding me back. Making me watch as I stood there unable to move. And though part of me understood that Snape had been the one to actually kill Dumbledore and that Malfoy looked like he had been about to join our side, I hated him.

I hated him for going through with his assignment, hated him for getting the dark mark in the first place. And I hated him for leaving. The rest of my nights were spent alone. I missed him now that he was gone. I focused my anger and pain on finding the horcruxes. With Hermione and Ron's help I was able to find them quickly.

After what seemed like forever to me, probably too soon for others, the final battle was upon us. Hermione, Ron, and I stayed together the entire time, watching each others backs. My scar burned when _he_ showed up.

I walked over to him, barely noticing that Hermione and Ron followed, killing any death eater that came near us.

"Potter, you've seem to have grown. In fact, you're almost a man."

I remained calm and replied in a nonchalant manner.

"Good to see you too, Tom." I emphasized his name and his face darkened.

"I will tolerate you nuisance no longer. Avada Kedavra!"

I dodged the curse easily while sending my own curse back.

"Sectumsempra!"

Voldemort's eyes widened and dropped to the ground bleeding. I transfigured a nearby rock into a dagger and picked it up. I heard Nagini slithering to us and with a whip of my hand sent the dagger flying right at her.

"Expeliarmus."

I caught Voldemort's wand lazily and snapped it in half. I strode over to Nagini and retrieved my dagger, cutting off her head for good measure. I walked over to Voldemort, who was on his knees pale from blood loss.

"No more horcruxes for you Tom. It's finally time for you to die."

Voldemort's eyes widened before I drove the dagger through his heart. All fights stopped at his scream. Most death eaters, seeing their master dead, apparated. Most that stayed had under the imperius curse or were giving in.

"Harry." I turned to face the familiar voice that I had hated all of my life.

"Malfoy." I growled. Before he had a chance to respond I shot a curse at him.

"Sectumsempra!"

Malfoy dropped to his knees and his hands clutched at his wound. After awhile he pulled his hands away and stared at his blood covered hands. He looked up into my eyes and my heart broke.

That's when it hit me, so hard I staggered. Hermione was right. I did love Malfoy and here he was in front of me bleeding to death because of me. I rushed to him and dropped to my knees in front of him. For some insane reason he smiled.

"I love you so much Harry. It took me awhile to figure it out but I love you so much it hurts."

"Oh Gods, I love you too. I'm so sorry."

Draco leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Don't forget me Harry, please."

Draco fell over, eyes closed.

"No! Someone get over here and heal him!"

Several healers rushed over and I stared at closed eyes that might never open again.

A/N: There. I'm not sure whether I'm going to do a sequel or if I'm going to have Draco live. Mmm… vote on it please? In your reviews, tell me whether or not you want a sequel and if you want Draco to be alive or dead.


	2. AN

A/N: SEQUEL! WOOT! It's called Start of Something New. Thanks to those that reviewed .


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